An inconvenient truth about evaluating a theory is that before one starts the evaluation, one must have a fairly clear idea about what said theory comprises (so far my evaluation goes; "Freud kept changing his mind"). With respect to this project, I keep thinking I have a handle on what's been said, but the next minute it has all gone. Has it been repressed, I wonder?! No, no. I'm getting there. The mists are clearing.
There comes a point in every research journey I make when things sort of boil over and I have to put pencil to paper before I can carry on reading. Yesterday, I was explaining this to a friend. "You're gestating," she said, "this is the equivalent of a Braxton Hicks contraction." I wouldn't know, but from where I'm sitting it feels more like motion sickness or gastric 'flu. Vomit and everything feels great. Until next time, that is.
So, today I sat down and attempted to rid myself of all those niggly little half-formed thoughts about Freudian theory. As I wrote I thought that the idea of libido sounds remarkably similar to an acupuncturist's idea of Qi. It's a mysterious energy flowing through the living organism, conferring that essential 'thingness'. Or is it just attention? The child discovers its mouth first, then as its neurons wire up it finds its anus, and then...jackpot! Genitalia!
Libido or attention? Did Freud himself really know? Aaaarrgghhhh...